Buttons. Bloody-Minded Buttons

“Do not offer me any help!”, I declared to Dave as I swept dramatically into his office one night. “If this blogging lark is going to work I want to learn it all by myself and become an Improved Person.”

Dave looked up, puzzled. “But I haven’t offered” he said.

“Well, just don’t, OK”, said I, slightly thrown and cross at that fact, but still able to sweep majestically out again. (The ability to maintain one’s composure and the correct mien are terribly, terribly important in life, don’t you feel?)

However, I may be ruing those rash words only several days into the project. I tried to add a Scotblogs link button to the side. It worked and was added, but for the love of all things holy (and I did invoke both God’s and Jesus’s names several types, during the process, along with some minor saints. Is there a Patron Saint of Blogging?) the silly button won’t go where I tell it to.

So there it lies, (look right and down a bit) kind of out of line with all the other neat buttons who know how to behave. Is it a Scottish thing? I’ll never conform to your html code, NEVER! And besides, FREEDOM! etc.

I’ve been labouring for hours at this, in between wiping runny noses, and feeding the hordes, and I even attempted it while a bit squiffy last night. The squiffed up brain, I thought fuzzily (and happily) may be just what’s needed for this particular problem. But to no avail. I have only one trick left to try and that is to drag a wee magnet across the screen and shout at it, in the hope of finally aligning my Scotblog button.

If anybody can tell me what a 404PHP template is and whether that will help me, please advise. My hair is standing on end and it’s affecting my cooking. MICHEEEEEEEEEELLE! Help me! Otherwise I’m going to have to hire a computer worm to crawl across the screen to physically push the sodding thing to where it looks purdy, so as I don’t look like such a dork: “Problemchildbride? Oh yeah!, (snigger) she’s the one who can’t even get her buttons straight.”

If I just can’t figure this out I’m going to have to swallow my pride and go sheepishly up to Dave’s office for help. I have a whole stomachful of swallowed pride as it is and Dave is quite used to seeing me appear in the doorway with a screwdriver in one hand and a paraplegic dolly or disassembled electronic toy that went “ping’ and “sigh” and stopped working, in the other. Me swallowing my pride is something we’re both used to and can be quite matter of fact about now.

S: “Can you take a look at…?”

D: “What did you…?”

S: “I just tried to…”

D: “OK, let me see…”

S: “Thanks.”

D: “Yup.”

3 thoughts on “Buttons. Bloody-Minded Buttons”

  1. You’d think I had all the time in the world what with now being a regular at your blogsite. It’s just good to be on the computer typing away for a change rather then checking my email and sighing woefully at the State of Emptiness it beholds. Also, it’s good when Brian comes into the office late at night and sees me looking perplexed and scratching my chin (usually because I have an itchy spot or because I have at last just worked out why the last episode I saw of Star Trek made no logical sense) but I like to think I’m fooling him into thinking I am doing some ‘serious research’….or something. And yes, I also am a bit too familiar with the old Swallowing of Pride ritual. But anyway, there are much, much worse things to swallow.

  2. Well, I finally got my Technorati button installed too which was another boondoggle I was too disheartened to talk about yesterday. But as you can see it won’t line up and play nicely either. I think I have a revolution on my hands! Buttons of the blog, unite! Thank you for being such a loyal commenter!

  3. There are several patron saints you can invoke for blogging: St. Isidore of Seville, whom many people use as patron saint of the Internet, St. Teresa of Avila, for tortured writers, or St. Jude, for hopeless causes…. he’s good for a whole lot of things.

    You can also try St. Dympna for the BPAD. The Church now says that she’s a made up one, but they make up all this stuff as they go along, anyway, right? Are you BPAD Type I or Type II?

    Wait a minute; are Presbyterians allowed saints? Isn’t that Papist?

    Interesting blog; I haven’t had time to read it all the way through yet, but I’m working on it.

    Fat Sparrow

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *