Postcards From the Edge of my Armchair Olympics
Before I launch into breathless enthusiasm about today’s Olympics, be warned! This post might be hexed, for there is something rotten in the state of (not Denmark this time although they seem to be trying their hardest there lately) my email boxes. I have the inbox of the beast: 666 unread messages. I’ve got to clean that sucker out.
Yahoo has pretty good filters and I haven’t been bothered too much with spam. It’s really just lazy me, skipping stuff and failing to delete. Many of them are from BizRate, so take a tip from me, never rate any Bizzes, no matter how much they beg you to and tell you that you’ll be “improving online trust”. First they will load your computer with their stodgy cookies and then they will email you with all sorts of fabulous offers from their Biz members. To the point of devilry, it seems. 666 (eeek!)
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“Clean, perfectly rounded and full”, said Buttons (really, Buttons) of the female half of Chinese skaters Shen/Zhao, which, it has to be said, is how all men want their women. But the other night, that very same Buttons ripped holes through all the Chinese performances, two of which ended up placing, following the short program. I guess the lesson to be learned there is to never trust the opinion of a garment fastener. That probably holds true in most other areas of life too. For example, I would never entrust my dental health to a safety-pin, no matter how reasonably priced he was.
Very exciting pairs free-skate competition tonight! Everyone is out there giving it their all with these sharp blades cutting through the air, often at nose-severing, ear-shearing height. It’s amazing! The Americans are 3rd as I type this, with the Russians still to skate, but … what’s this? Apparantly we’re popping back to the women’s half-pipe for a bit. There are some very cool ladies out there doing things called “cripplers” and other mad stuff. Hannah Teter of the US just did a 900 degree turn which put her into first place. I’ve got to go and watch this. Back in a wee while.
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Back again. In case anyone is keeping track of the fickleness that is woman, it’s all over with Chad and me. I lost my heart to Jeremy Wotherspoon in Tivoed Torino at about 8:15pm tonight. He didn’t win, but, I thought to myself after seeing his interview, there slip-slides a man who can be sexy both on and off the ice.
Totmiyanina/Marinin, the Russian pair who won the figure skating, were just the most beautiful spectacle tonight. Their performance, and others’, was marred only by Buttons & Co’s commentary. At one point in he actually said, ” even though she is so slight, she has shown that she has a heart as big as the ice-rink”. He was talking about Zhang who got up and carried on after falling badly on a quadruple throw thingy, showing lots of pluck and Olympic spirit, so why did he have to make it sound like something written on a card that Hallmark would have trouble shifting. He actually said that. Although I actually split his infinitive but I feel that, all things considered, mine was the lesser crime.
Right. To bed. Night night, then.
February 15th, 2006 at 1:02 pm
still going eh el zahbongo.
Are you not worrying that the internet will fill up and in a bid to free some space someone will post it to space possibly landing on a small planet composed primarily of llamas?
No?
Ah well fair enough. me neither.
honest
February 15th, 2006 at 5:58 pm
It’s not the llamas per se that would bother me. Gentle, wooly creatures, llamas with fabulous senses of humour – laugh a minute. No, it would be their hooves – can’t type with ‘em you see. I’d be ghettoized in The Place That Bad Blogs Go To Sigh with no way of communicating with the outside llama world I long for. Just to run free with them in the fields with the llamas! Or, perhaps just one special llama.
“Douglas! Oh you silly! Giggle.”
February 16th, 2006 at 8:09 am
actually primarily its their spitting ability that impresses me.
imagine a herd of llamas at a spitoon shop. Blimey, you’d have to duck.
I quite like ducks too.
Much nicer than geese (which my family used to have in addition to ducks.)
I would have to question your theory about llama’s hooves making it hard for them to write – primarily for 2 reasons.
1) If they couldn’t write the chances are that they couldn’t read.
but on the other hand..
2)I believe they could spit ink in a lettery kind of way. hence making sure they could reply to your random bloggings. however postage may be an issue.
February 16th, 2006 at 3:51 pm
Perhaps they could fashion some kind of removable pointy nose device, a strap-on, if you will, with which to press a special keyboard built for the fingerly challenged head-bobbing typer. I could design it for them, thereby winning their trust. We could all live happily ever after in lovely animated harmony, with butterflies and stuff. I llove the llovely llamas.
February 17th, 2006 at 7:43 am
they rock.
(off to practice spitting).
February 17th, 2006 at 10:25 am
Tom! You are my Erata, my muse! I have written a short story of 101 words, in your honour. See above. I looked at your commentary and I knew just what I had to do. Oh yes. Thank-you, gentle Tom. There’s a $50 barnes &noble gift certificate up for grabs, so we’re playing in the big leagues now. You get half if I win. .
February 17th, 2006 at 4:09 pm
not sure what an erata is but if its saucey I’ll have one. what the hell make it two. (it is friday after all)
I read your story. the swoops the soars the highs the lows.
a rollercoaster of a ride – will boy llama manage to impress girl llama with his spitting prowess??
the plot thickens.
$50 eh? thats biiiiig money. in pounds that must be ?2000 or something? crikey.
February 17th, 2006 at 4:56 pm
Aah, but see. It’s a story of boy llama and just plain old girl. It’s a tale of forbidden love across species lines. It’s essentially a tragedy which I seemed to have failed to convey. Won’t be winning with that one, then!
$50 is about twenty-eight pounds, or two pints in Glasgow these days.