Whinny, Or A Modest Proposal
Much of this morning was spent being a horsey for two budding gymkhana stars. It’s harder than it looks, not least because the horsewomen in question are bigger than they used to be on account of my feeding them regularly, as advised in all the best parenting books. But I have to question this. Surely skipping the feedings for one little day here and there couldn’t do much harm. I touched upon this thought in an email with Friend Danny this morning and have been ruminating on it some, this afternoon.
I mean, when we give our children 3 meals a day just because we can, aren’t we being a little Western in our thinking? A little narrow; a wee bit too much enamoured of what some old dead white guys thought? Wouldn’t skipping the odd day, rather than depriving young minds and bodies of essential nutrition (pff! who dreamt that stuff up anyway?), wouldn’t it instead build backbone? Couldn’t it be a teaching device to show the girls that, in life, there will be lean times; times when the heart and courage fail; when there’s a paucity of spirit and good will in the world; when as a student you’ll forget to do the weekly shop but spend all your money on cheap wine and “The Socialist Worker” and be left with ‘nary a Heinz baked bean to get you through the weekend.
For those times, and more, wouldn’t a little gentle starvation provide the children with invaluable life lessons? Of course, the starvation must be approached in a loving, gentle way and, as the offspring cling to you and plead through their tears to “please feed me mummy, please!”, care must be taken to explain to them why this is “for your own good” and that “one day you will thank me”. It’s very important to remember that bit for that is What All Parents Say and if you don’t then you’re not worth your parent-or-guardian salt.
These are just thoughts I’m throwing out there, you understand, but if I were to spark an international revolution in child-rearing theory, hey! I wouldn’t shirk my responsibilities! I’d go on Oprah!
Now there will always be the naysayers who’ll try to claim that problemchildbride is just thinking up excuses to be a slacker mummy. I say to them, NO! I’m just a tired mummy with a good heart and a very sore back. Trotting should not be this tough.
Neigh.
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I Can?t Be Held Responsible For Anything I Say.
February 21st, 2006
Somebody asked me if I was, in fact, joking. I couldn?t figure out if they were joking. But, rest easy, gentle readers, I am not a monstrous mother, really. On most days.
February 21st, 2006 at 3:55 am
If you starve them a bit longer, they will be seen and not heard
Naysayer
February 21st, 2006 at 5:26 am
I’ve always heard that if you blow air up a horse’s nose you will earn their trust and know that you’re OK. If I were a horse, I can’t think of anything more likely to earn a human a bite on the nose.
February 21st, 2006 at 11:21 pm
Funny you pondering on-line about the merits of abstinance being good for the soul. I have taken to eating a bit healthier i.e more fruit and veg, less meat and snacks. Its my own fault for trying on the kilt in preparation for the year of multiple weddings (part deux-this time its personal) and finding that the buckles have shrunk. Not fitting into the kilt that once fitted so elegantly the lanky 21 year old steak of pish it was tailored for is a bit sobering. Had some pasta and veg tonight no biccies, crisps or nothing. I am starving and waiting for brekie so I gorge myself on special fecking K cereal.
My advise is to starve your kids from time to time at this crucial stage in their development – it will give them the discipline they will need when they reach their mid 30’s and need to starting worring about horizintal creep
B
February 23rd, 2006 at 5:32 am
I think that scientific genius is 1% inspiration, 49% perspiration and 50% standing around drinking vending machine coffee while your experiments are working. And the coffee machine is right next to the sweetie machine and a drink’s too wet without one etc. You aren’t to blame. Scientific spread is an occupational hazard. Anyhoo, I’ll bet it’s a mere tumlet. A cute wee kilt anti-slippage device. Best of luck with the Special fecking K, anyway.
I have to say, the response to the starving of the children has been mainly positive. Dae thinks it’s a great idea. There really OUGHT to be some kind of a license for breeding, shouldn’t there. Otherwise any incompetent galoots can do it, and we did.
BTW, we’re not in our MID-30s; it’s EARLY-30s. Say it with me, “still EARLY 30s”.