“Octopus & 3 Blackberries”; As Verbatim As I Can Manage
Today Jane said: “Mummy, can I have a made-up story about an octopus and fwee bwackbewwies?”
“Sure”, said I, perkily.
Katie said, “Make it be a story in the magic woods with Raj, the tiger, and two wee girls called Rosie and Whitening (sic). With an asterinot.
“Yes! An astewinot in a wocket!” shrieked Jane with glee, hugging herself and hopping up and down.
“And the tiger goes to the moon on the rocket and … and … hurts his knee … but he was a very good tiger and ate up all his tea and he wasn’t at all fierce,” said Kate
“I see”, I said, not seeing. It was unclear where this was going and, also, exactly how I was going to untangle this narrative knot and move us seamlessly towards “andtheyallivedhappilyeveraftertheend.”
“No … no … but then he got naughtier and wouldn’t share his …things…and … and … said he’d eat Wosie and Whitening”, offered Jane with a new note of uncertainty in her voice.
“Are they still on the moon?”. I sought clarification.
“Nooooo, mummy! cried Katie, with no uncertain notes at all. “They’re in the magic wooooooods“.
“Oh. Is the octopus there too? I ventured.
“No, mummy. The octopus is under the sea and the bwackberries are there too”. Exasperated look from my first-born-by-a-minute. Not sure what today’s blackberry thing is all about with Jane.
This story did actually continue for a few minutes until it became clear that mummy was too idiotic to bother with, and everybody wandered away. The girls, for their part, were not in the least bit fazed by each other’s plot developments and assimilated them to their own with the kind of abstraction only 3 year olds and Fauvist artists can realize: huge, bold strokes; moon; magic woods; under the sea. In fact, I think what we’re seeing here is, clearly, a Fauvist crossover from painting to literature! Somebody call the New Yorker – this could be huge!
There’s not much in the way of character development apart from the tiger changing his stripes and turning out to be naughty after all. But, what the hey! Great new art movements are not built in a day.
February 26th, 2006 at 7:44 pm
Does one of your children have a problem with the letter ‘r’?
‘wocket’, ‘wosie’ etc.
a career in monthy python twibute movies awaits.
February 26th, 2006 at 11:06 pm
‘R’s and we’re having trouble with ‘l’s too. We’re hoping it self-resolves because it’s already going to cost us a fortune to fix the inherited British dentition we’re predicting will show up in their second teeth, without having to get Speech Therapy too. This WILL have to be done because, otherwise, they will feel odd amongst their genetically (and cosmetically) blessed California peers, and be seen as “Dentally Challenged” and at risk for developing “Issues”. Shrinks in this part of the world cost a fortune, so I figure just fixing the squinty teeth will be cheaper in the long run. Some piper, somewhere, will have to be paid. This is California. I love California but, it is, and will continue to be, very Californian.
February 27th, 2006 at 5:51 am
Nice to have the kids telling themselves stories. Good delegating!
February 28th, 2006 at 8:24 am
Ha, brilliant.
My three-year-old is the same.
“Make up a story, Mummy.”
“OK, once uipon a time a little girl was sitting on a wall…”
“No Mummy, it was a little boy eating his dinner.”
“OK, and all of a sudden a giant penguin landed on his head.”
[exasperated]“No, mummy! It was a naughty spider and it went on his plate and went doo-doo-doo and then it was night time and a giant shark came and…”
“What?”
“Tell the story, Mummy!”
“OK, so then a big wave came and…”
“No, Mummy!”
February 28th, 2006 at 8:29 am
P.S. My wickwe son is awso vewy muddled about vem.
His consonants, that is. I’m just assuming it’ll all go away in time. One of the best lessons I’ve learnt in motherhood: ignore it and it’ll go away. Temperatures, spots, dirt on faces and hands… it all goes away. Eventually. If you ignore it conscientiously enough.
February 28th, 2006 at 11:56 pm
Finally! A voice of reason!. You are a mother after my own heart, Clare.
March 3rd, 2006 at 1:06 pm
Q: Why did the naughty tiger have a Blackberry?
A: So he could read the news on-lion.
I’ll see myself out….
March 7th, 2006 at 1:09 pm
Great post. Especially how you wove Fauve into the story.
It was pure electronic artistry.
Matisse would be impressed with you in his Empressionist way.
RIM would be impressed with your mention of Blackberry (TM).
March 7th, 2006 at 4:55 pm
Maybe they would pay me every time I say Blackberry. Product placement, brand recognition etc. Would ‘bwackbewwy’ count d’ya think? Hmm, hehehehe (rubbing hands Uriah Heeply) how to make pots and pots of money.