The Proper News, Exciting New Fish Ladder News And The Dreamy Denouement Of My Cat
First off today, forgive me for my ungainly links in this post. While I can href and make links all tidily on other people’s Blogger and haloscan comment-boxes, Wordpress looks at my hrefs, snorts with disdain and turns the rest of my posts blue (have a short scroll down and see what the bloody thing has done to my earlier posts), just because it can. It’s the most vicious and malevolent blogging tool in the whole wide world and I admit freely I am not its equal. It has this horrible way of curling its upper lip and sneering down its complicated Cascading Sheet-style nose. Wordpress is a git and I hate it. Bah! (Beats tiny fists in impotent rage). I am the David to its Goliath and I will find a way to bring it to its knees and worship me. Mwahahahahaha!
This is an odds and sods post with a serious bit to lead, which I don’t usually do on PCB, preferring to leave my political ranting to raging around the house, flapping a newspaper (and occasionally, Wocky, my laptop), demanding “Have you seen this?” of the houseplants, and railing at the telly with my tiny fists of pent-up Wordpress rage. Anyway, bear with me for the political rant – I don’t know where it came from today. Or feel arm-flailingly free to skip it and read the more amusing news at the bottom.
First, The News, especially for the Brits who may get only a fragmentory picture of the state of the States. I am an Independant, neither Republican or Democrat and I realize my view will only give a fragmentory view too, so I’ll present the facts (caution: as I see them) whilst trying to limit my ejaculatory outrage and emotive language to a minimum. Or I might not. The whole thing is a mess and it makes me angry.
If (see above link) authorizing the leak of classified information, which compromised an FBI agent, and then claiming to be outraged and vowing to root out the leaker, isn’t grounds for presidential impeachment, then I will lose what little respect I have left for the spineless, poll-dancing and poll-licking, political-game-playing Democrats until the current lot are voted out and a new bunch moves in; people with more on their minds than perfecting double-speak, dissembling and failure to stand for anything except individual political damage control and a seeming lack of coherent concern about the God-awful mess this administration has got us into. All this so as not to alienate the group of voters they’re never going to pilfer from the GOP anyway. If they couldn’t win the election last time, what with Abu Graib, ‘My Pet Goat’ and the 7 minute presidential freeze and all, ALL the rest of the stuff that begged for us to kick Bush out, then they, and we as a country deserve what we get. “A people gets the government it deserves etc”.
All that happened before: the Gulf coast debacle; the “Is torture OK?” stuff from Gitmo and Alberto Gonzales; the Tom Delay, Jack Abramoff (and there were Democrats involved in that too) scandal; the reinvigourated and wholly predictable flare up of tensions between Shiites and Sunnis; the continued failure to capture bin Laden more than 4 years after 9/11; the Valerie Plame case; the Scooter Libby indictment; the obscene Terry Shiavo spectacle; “the jury is still out on global warming” idiocy; the myopic environmental policies; the reascendancy of the Taliban and the drug trade in Afghanistan; the botched Medicare overhaul;, the UAE/port security deal; the Cindy Sheehan spectacle; the failure to act in Darfur as millions are killed; the questionable legality of detaining people indefinitely without representation and the wire-tapping of American citizens (I’m not negating the possible validity of these things under certain circumstances, and am not learned enough to hold forth confidently on them, but the laws on the books must at least be followed a little bit, surely, at the very least – maybe waved around in the same room as the president once in a while); the inability to do anything about N. Korea or Iran, even if we wanted to because we’re stretched too thin in Iraq and Afghanistan and the world knows it. All of it.
Where are the Christy Todd Whitman, Republicans and the Max Cleland Democrats and where is Ralph Nader-type common decency? We need your integrity and reason, guys, come on. Even John McCain seems more interested in electioneering right now than anything else. I love America but I hate where we’re heading. I love Britain and was more shocked at the Downing Street memo (http://www.downingstreetmemo.com/memos.html) and the recent revelations of the Iraq war being a “done deal” months before we started, with an invasion date “pencilled in” for March 10th (http://www.nytimes.com/2006/03/27/international/europe/27memo.html?ex=1301115600&en=be186887fe0c83a2&ei=5088&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss), than even the drawn out revelations that the CIA hasn’t got a clue, after all.
The Republicans are self-imploding and the segment that isn’t displaying flagrant lawlessness, from the House to the Executive, is having a convention called “The War on Christians” and presenting their persecution so far as to describe themselves as “the Jews of the 21st century”. (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/03/28/AR2006032801632.html)
Despite, Terry Schiavo, despite The Ten Commandments in schools brouhaha, the teaching of intelligent design, despite controlling the House, Senate, the Judiciary and the Executive, the Religious Wrong (they’re not right) still would have us believe they lack power in the country, although 80% of Americans describe themselves as Christian. Who can spell “paranoia“? Nobody, because our school-system is lagging behind almost that of every other developed country (although American universities are still pretty good).
And the worst of it is there is no Democratic position to take (they are the party of opposition in a two-party system, and therefore the only vaible alternative one could take) because they haven’t got any, other than to bloviate and retreat, bloviate and retreat, watching their own backs and taking care of their own political trajectories. Where is the patriotism? It is American to question and demand answers and offer alternatives. We’re still stuck in this ‘dissent = lack of patriotism’, rut in America, with an insidious and largely successful attempt by war-mongers (Dick Cheney is the worst bloke for this) to characterize criticism of administration policy as fostering the enemy, despite dissent being what democracy is intended to allow. How can we think of spreading democracy in the Middle-East when we stymie it ourselves and get the ABCs of it so fundamentally wrong?
And … breathe …
Feel free to chime in and disagree if you want. After all, it’s the democratic way in a free society, and Blogland is one of the bastions of free, unfettered speech. I don’t find it disagreeable to be disagreed with, usually, and have learnt a lot from shutting-up and listening. So if you want to learn me some stuff, go right ahead, but I take some passionately moderate positions on certain things. It’s not only the loonies on the fringes that can think a thing passionately.
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In other news: “New ring around Uranus is blue, scientists find.” There is a wee ‘moon’ called Mab in the ring around Uranus too, in case you wondered what that lump you’d found was. You need a pretty strong magnifying device to find it though, they say.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060406/sc_nm/space_uranus_dc_1
Look, I know its puerile and vulgar, and perhaps shocking to find on the blog of Problem-Child-Bride, (astronomy’s just disgusting, they’re all sickos, don’t you agree?) but I thought it would appeal to my husband and brother and a few of my male blurkers, especially Tom. I thought I might need to lighten the mood for anyone who can be bothered to read down this far, too.
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In still other news (there’s a lot of that news stuff about, ain’t there?): I kid you not, this was an actual headline and its byline from our local paper, the Ojai Valley News, for Wednesday April 5th, (http://www.ojaivalleynews.com/index.php)
“Trout Ascends Fish Ladder. Casitas reports first trout past $8 million facility; news marred by another trout found dead in dried-up pool downstream”.
This was a project to encourage populations of steelhead trout which has failed magnificantly for several years now, despite pouring $8 million into it and, this year, deciding to break the damn and flood the wee valley its located in, anyway, thus destroying it and rendering the whole project a colossal waste of time and money. Genius! Apparantly they couldn’t tell if the plucky trout was even a steelhead or not:
“On the morning of Thursday March 30, the video camera positioned in the Casitas Municipal Water District’s Robles Fish Passage Facility snapped a grainy image of an approximately 14.5-inch-long fish. While the turbidity of the water prevented CMWD fisheries biologist Mike Gibson from positively identifying the fish as an endangered Southern Californian steelhead, Gibson asserted in a CMWD statement that the fish was certainly a trout”.
It’s like Nessie hunting, only publicly funded. I’m all in favour of bold efforts to protect Californian wildlife but the steelhead trout is only endangered in the Ojai Valley and is abundant North of here. $8 million dollars and several years in, for one dubious trout! Priceless, as they say in the American Express ads. Or maybe it was Mastercard.
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Personal news: last night I dreamt our cat fell in the shredder. I felt unspeakable relief when I awoke to find her sleeping in her chair,but, on my way to deal with my wee girl’s ‘accident’, at 3am I damned nearly broke my neck on the good-for-nothing, layabout as she deliberately tried to trip me up. I began to think…
April 7th, 2006 at 11:21 pm
Greetings, dear. Thanks for stopping by my pages and commenting. With your permission, I’d like to post a link to you on my page, even though you appear to be a bit to the left of me. Rest assured, you are in fine company. The Ever More Beautiful Long Suffering Official Spouse of my page is German. Every few days, she begins a conversation with the words, “You Americans . . . ” I listen politely, then repair to the garage with a smoke and beer.
Cheers.
R. Sherman
April 8th, 2006 at 12:24 am
fish ladder shmish ladder
bush shmush
uranus my anus
April 8th, 2006 at 12:49 am
Hey R! Thanks for visiting. It would be an honour to be a link on your site.
Am I to the left of you? I am independant which, granted, doesn’t always mean centrist, and on some issues I lean one way or t’other. Maybe the Ralph Nader comment above caused you to believe I’m a left wing fringer. I’m not, but definitely lean left on most social things and some fiscal things. However in this day and, seeing the havoc Bush has wrought, I firmly believe in voting for the man, rather than the party, which the American system allows you to do, although in a complicated, bizarre and twisty way. I disagree with Mr. Nader on all sorts and think he’s unelectable. However, I think, of the 3 candidates in the last election, he was the man with the most independence of mind, the man with the most personal integrity and, actually, the man with most political experience too. That might make me sound more hard-left than I actually am, and, as I say, I lean left mostly, but not to the point of state-didacticism. How right-leaning are you? I’m not hatin’, so don’t worry. The whole point is to thrash it all out and hear all sides isn’t it?
Thanks again for visiting. I like your site a lot.
Mr Z. Thank-you, sweetie-pie. I knew you’d de-lurk for a rude planet piece. My granny always made us say ‘YOOR-ah-nus’, which wasn’t a whole lot better, but I thought the people that said ‘yoor-AY-nus’ were just filthy, when i was wee. Actually I didn’t know about anuses for the longest time, ‘cos we always said ‘bottoms’ in our house. Or ‘bums’ if we were being rude.
April 8th, 2006 at 1:57 am
Actually, I could probably be loved or loathed by both Jerry Falwell and Ted “hic” Kennedy, depending on the issue. I’m one who just enjoys reading good stuff.
Thanks for the permit, and
Cheers.
April 8th, 2006 at 7:06 am
Calling someone a “bottom” can be pretty rude, Sam. A favourite insult of a baboon in our neighbourhood is “you are my bottom”. I’ll have to remember of cuff him one of these days.
And I’m afraid phone-tapping is a necessary evil in human society. If you don’t take a firm line against all those pranksters and heavy-breathers, chaos will reign.
April 8th, 2006 at 9:49 am
blue rings caused by geyser on uranus!! would that not cause a red ring? (ooh-er-mrs z, very “carry-on”)
you had better be careful of political blogs beecause your lovely government and ever resourceful cia might kidnap you and fly you via scotland to one of their lovely torture cells in eastern europe! (although they do send you there in a very stylish private jet) america can hold it’s head up high, even torture victims are given first class treatment.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4878106.stm
(sorry don’t know how to do live links)
April 8th, 2006 at 9:53 am
i apparently did know how to do live links, sorry folks
April 8th, 2006 at 1:46 pm
You mention the Downing memo, but what of the current Peerage sales scandal?
Your linkes were plentiful and effective, Sam. I didn’t follow them, because I’m already filled with futile rage and anguish over our nation’s governance.
Fuck ‘em all, sez I, from the comfort of my deteriorating blue state.
April 8th, 2006 at 9:10 pm
Sam, I often try to comment on your posts but usually I’m so overwhelmed by the prose that I end up skulking away, ashamed and demoralised. You ought to write professionally.
After your latest, all I have to offer is: ‘Last night I dreamt our cat fell in the shredder’ would have been a great alternative opening line to Daphne du Maurier’s Rebecca.
April 9th, 2006 at 1:08 am
GB, I feel saucy this evening. I’m off to find someone to say ‘bottom’ at. How did you know that heavy-breathing call ws me? Did I breathe with an Outer Hebridonian accent? Damn, I’ve got to stop giving myself away with that.
Wee Bro’, I hear the thumbscrews are all of gold and the Chinese water-drip torture is a Chinese rather-smokey-25-year-old-single-malt-drip treatment. And there’s a spa facility and tennis-courts for detainees to relax in between torture-sessions too. the testicle electrodes are wired up to a pulsating graphic of “Flight of the Bumblebee” with corresponding amplitude of electrical pulses as the notes vary. You can actually visualize your own torture! Who says we’re turning into barbarians and harking back to the bad old days?
Mr Tinspector, I bet my blue state is deteriorating faster than your blue state? The immigration thing is bringing out the protectionists in the most unlikely people here in California. I say we’re already doing criminally well off the backs of immigrants – cheap labour, plus they pay taxes – and the peculiarly immigrant nature of this country demands that we at least share the love a bit now, surely. If they are doing the jobs Americans won’t, it’s because the minimum wage hasn’t been raised by Congress since ‘97 and minimum-age earners live below the poverty line. Raise the minimum wage, Americans will take the jobs again and immigrants will not be so hypocritically exploited. But still, we need to protect the borders better and we should quit all the hand-wringing about whether to say “illegal” or “undocumented” immigrant. The immigrant argument is just weakened that way and it IS clearly, illegal. But there are degrees of illegality – illegality to save your family from starving in Mexico is far from being the biggest, baddest illegal thing anyone can do so why, when our president flouts the law all the time, are we so hung up on blasting the Mexicans for it? Illegal it is and there’s no point pretending it isn’t to appear politically correct. But it’s just not that bad a crime, particularly when illegal immigrants work harder, longer hours for less pay than most of us, and prop up the economy of California, and the whole country, to such a large extent. We benefit from their committing a crime!Lawbreaking by the administration is where we ought to be aiming our guns. God, sorry! On a bit of a political bender today it seems .
Mr. Eater, get away with you, you great podophagic galoot! You’re a very kind Foot Eater really aren’t you, beneath that gruff, cannibalistic exterior. It would be nice to make a living at writing, but alas, nobody has asked me and, you see, I DO insist on a written invitation to life, preferably written on stiff white water-marked paper with curlicue gold-lettering and wafting around the irresistable aroma of success. Besides, I can see quite clearly from the amazing state of the blogosphere that I compare poorly indeed to some of the other hobby-writers out there and I include you in that. Your Kate Bush homage kicked serious bottom, and is about as good as it gets, in my ‘umble ‘pinion.
It’s funny you should mention the ‘Rebecca’ thing, because I was thinking, just this morning that “Last night I dreamt our cat fell in the shredder” would be a great alternative ending for Dickens’ “Little Dorrit”.
April 9th, 2006 at 7:03 pm
Foot Eater worries too much.
April 9th, 2006 at 9:17 pm
You’ll have to excuse my ignorance in regards to US politics, your blog made for an interesting/enlightening read, but I don’t feel qualified to form an opinion/add anything of any substance just yet
As for rings and Uranus… |Please tell me I’m not the only one who giggled like a kid in Sex Ed class at this quote: (?)
Oooh, Matron!
April 10th, 2006 at 9:46 am
Cats, can’t live wth ‘em. can’t hurl them off the balcony for vomiting hairballs into your sheets. Fortuately you can creep up and explode bags behind them when they are asleep. Revenge is mine!
April 10th, 2006 at 7:25 pm
Sami, rant away without apology! These things have to be said. I get angry every time I think that not only was Blair not impeached but that he was voted back in! “We have gone to war to free the people of Iraq. It is not a war about oil” Yeah, Bush and Blair, so if it was a humanitarian reason for war, where the hell were you for Rwanda.
I’m with Mr F.E though – your writing is an art that should be recognised by more than the Blogworld! Spread the word, people!
Uranus – I know, indeed how could anyone not have found that funny in science class. I am afraid I still smirk at such things. I had to leave the room when my mother in-law was innocently talking about her ‘lovely, wonderful’ friends, Mike and Kay Hunt. I’m not joking. I know there’s this whole joke thing about “has anyone seen Mike Hunt here” but I swear that’s his name and that he is married to Kay. I hope I don’t get introduced to them as I swear I don’t think I’ll be able to hold it in.
April 10th, 2006 at 8:24 pm
Wow, really up to date on the politics stuff – why don’t you run for some office, and start your way up the political ladder?
April 11th, 2006 at 6:48 pm
Heyho, Joe – I’m an armchair railler. I don’t have what it takes to run for office, I’m afraid. I’m more of a stander at the bottom of the political ladder; a shaker of the ladder in a vain attempt to keep those on it a bit more real. I think the altitude gets to them after a while.
Fluffag, Blimey! Mike and K Hunt! That’s beautiful! How can their parents not have noticed? How can your mother in law have missed it?
Oh go on, ask to be introduced to them! I think I have to know what such curious people look like.
fmc – you are, as I thought you were, a resourceful woman, fornd of a prank, but it’s more than just revenge isn’t it? I suspect you of being (drumroll)…a big softy! I suspect that rahter than scaring the bejeezus out of your cat you are merely trying to stir its ancient survival instincts and mimic some of the terrors it would experience in nature if you didn’t own him. You were merely trying to bring some colour to his dreary day of sleeping and eating and getting his ears rubbed. I knew it!
Clare, ooooer matron indeed. Love my “Carry On” films. I wish they’d show them over here.
Dr. M. You’re right about Mr. Eater. I hear he’s stopped showering and has started plucking the hair out of hamsters for relief. I’m not one to gossip, but he’s gone through 2 or 3 litters, I believe. I myself have had my nuttier interludes but, for the love of God, I let the hamsters be! Poor bald little souls! It’ll never grow back, you know!
April 20th, 2006 at 12:21 pm
Damn – now I’m going to have to read “Little Dorrit” to understand your reference. Maybe there’s an untapped universe of shredded cat literature out there:
“Reader, I shredded him.” (Jane Eyreball)
“They used to shred cats at Four Turnings in the old days. Not any more though.” (My Kitten Rachel)
“Happy cats are all alike; every shredded cat is unhappy in its own way.? (Anna Katrenina)
“For a long time now. I have been going to shred early.” (A La Recherche des Chats Perdus)