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“Reader, I shredded him.” (Jane Eyreball)

“They used to shred cats at Four Turnings in the old days. Not any more though.” (My Kitten Rachel)

“Happy cats are all alike; every shredded cat is unhappy in its own way.? (Anna Katrenina)

“For a long time now. I have been going to shred early.” (A La Recherche des Chats Perdus)

Fluffag, Blimey! Mike and K Hunt! That’s beautiful! How can their parents not have noticed? How can your mother in law have missed it?
Oh go on, ask to be introduced to them! I think I have to know what such curious people look like.

fmc – you are, as I thought you were, a resourceful woman, fornd of a prank, but it’s more than just revenge isn’t it? I suspect you of being (drumroll)…a big softy! I suspect that rahter than scaring the bejeezus out of your cat you are merely trying to stir its ancient survival instincts and mimic some of the terrors it would experience in nature if you didn’t own him. You were merely trying to bring some colour to his dreary day of sleeping and eating and getting his ears rubbed. I knew it!

Clare, ooooer matron indeed. Love my “Carry On” films. I wish they’d show them over here.

Dr. M. You’re right about Mr. Eater. I hear he’s stopped showering and has started plucking the hair out of hamsters for relief. I’m not one to gossip, but he’s gone through 2 or 3 litters, I believe. I myself have had my nuttier interludes but, for the love of God, I let the hamsters be! Poor bald little souls! It’ll never grow back, you know!

I’m with Mr F.E though – your writing is an art that should be recognised by more than the Blogworld! Spread the word, people!

Uranus – I know, indeed how could anyone not have found that funny in science class. I am afraid I still smirk at such things. I had to leave the room when my mother in-law was innocently talking about her ‘lovely, wonderful’ friends, Mike and Kay Hunt. I’m not joking. I know there’s this whole joke thing about “has anyone seen Mike Hunt here” but I swear that’s his name and that he is married to Kay. I hope I don’t get introduced to them as I swear I don’t think I’ll be able to hold it in.