So, I know this Horse-Whisperer – well he’s really more of a shouter, as he works at a home for retired sea-side donkeys and many of them are hard of hearing.

So, I know this Donkey-Shouter and, when I asked, he told me something of the “fiendish giggling” I’d read about over at Latigo Flint’s* excellent site. I was unaware that this was even a part of horse behaviour. How wrong I was.

Latigo* says that the Western horses of yore displayed this “fiendish giggling” whenever their masters met with misfortune, on account of all the spurrings, lashings and “Yeehah!”s they suffered when being urged down perilous canyons etc.

This particular sort of fiendish giggle is a fiendish giggle common to all put-upon equines. It resonates somewhere between an unpleasant snicker and a whinny – a “sninny”, if you will. But, if something really, tremendously dire-and-tragic-AND-awful happens to their fun-fair masters (a saddle sore going septic or the fatal rupture of a candy-floss’n'inertia-born pile, perhaps) some of the more abused (formerly abused, that is- Donald’s very gentle) and bitter donkeys will go so far as to “whicker”, darkly.

And who can blame them? Really? Perpetual beast of burden, the donkey, with a long and storied, but underappreciated history:

- There was a bit part in the Christmas Story, of course, and a Christmas carol spin off but little in the way of steady work since then.

- Jobbing donkeys have been cheap, reliable amusement for centuries’ worth of toddlers, whether at fairs or on the beaches of Britain.

- They were the inventors of their eponymous jacket, taking leading roles in all parts of the design and manufacturing process – even travelling to China to view working conditions in the garment factories.

- And how would anybody have ever climbed a mountain or discovered a lost world without the donkey?

But what thanks do they get for all this sterling service to ourselves? What recognition is there in popular culture of this steadfast loyalty to man?

Eeyore, that’s what.

“Man’s best friend ” (“Pah – suck-ups! Brown-nosers!” – The Donkeys) gets leading roles such as Lassie and Old Yeller and Benjy, and the “noble”, “magnificent” (Pfft! The Donkeys) horse gets Black Beauty and Seabiscuit. (“Rubbish! Sentimental clap-trap! Where were horses when Jesus was born eh? Too good to carry Mary and her precious load, eh? EH? – The Donkeys Again).

In film history, typecast as stubborn burros or easily dispatched beasts of burden in films of varying quality, donkeys have had only a narrow and stony path to plod in both Hollywood and in Life, which is like Hollywood but with poorer lighting.

But most (in)famously, donkeys are introduced to the fresh young minds of generations of cinema-going humans as Eeyore, the gloomy, mumbling friend of Pooh who can’t even get it together to fix his wee shed. Their’s is a past and future filled only with character actor roles. Donkeys are doomed to be forever Falstaffs; always the bridesmaids never the brides. They’re the equine thespian equivalant of the nannies and the butlers. They are the Pete Postlethwaites of the animal acting world: enormously talented and respected but “not quite the look we’re after for our leading role in ‘One Helluva Handsome Bloke’“. When will they get their Philip Seymour Hoffman moment? When will it be their turn to shine?

“Yes. When?” (- The Donkeys)

* Here is Latigo: http://anewwordforfast.blogspot.com/ His blog is thoroughly recommended reading. Great fun. The horse post is here: http://anewwordforfast.blogspot.com/2006/05/true-western-truth-143.html#comments

This entry was posted on Sunday, May 7th, 2006 at 4:43 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.