How are you doing with the fires? We heard on the news that they turned direction, and were headed back toward you, and were only 35% contained, on top of that.

We’ve got the Santa Anas kicking up here, out by us. Blech, there goes my sinuses. Must be time for more Vitamin C, in the form of Bloody Marys.

It was fun.

But careful with the flaring nostrils if you are into eskimo kissing.

Saltation, welcome! And thank you for taking the time to help solve my technical imbecility. Be warned though: others have tried. There’s a ward full of previously healthy, generous-hearted souls, now rendered lunatics, murmering “Why wouldn’t she learn? Why?” somewhere in a California treatment programme. They won’t allow me any further contact with them or I’d send them grapes or something. It makes me feel bad. We passed some testes marching for equal-rights for scrota today, would you believe. At least I thought they were testes. My friend thought they were just dicks.

Rand’, I know exactly the feeling you describe.

Pat, never worry, I can’t spell ’til at least 9am. Curiously I’m better after a drink or two before getting awful again very quickly. But fragility? Never! I’m made of good strong Hebridean stuff. Nothing phases me, except maybe more front-page headlines about Uncle Murchaidh and the sheep. *Shame*.

Doccy M, the strong spitfire type accounts for roughly 40% of my waking hours; a short afternoon nap and I’m re-energised for more death-defying loop-the-loops before tea. The rest of the time I’m as mild as a lamb, but a lamb of steel, mind. I’m strong as the proverbial ox and I leave the ox in the dust when it comes to the spectacular flaring of nostrils (a sign of strength and vigour and the need for great gusts of air).

She was certainly very beautiful and could act the pants off anyone around today. But then, most of them could.

Dear Problem,
first off, I’m not a vindictive man, ask anyone, and I?ll say now they?re lovely snaps of your fine children and yourself, and I’m sorry about the ash falling upon you and yours. I know that must be a worry.

Nice kids and you?re not so slack yourself, if I may say so.

BUT, “how very dare you madam!”, I thought to myself, when a member of our Club the “Bee Eater Respect Kudos Society” brought your scurrilous, unfounded, libellous and quite scurrilous article on Bee Eaters to my attention.
None of those allegations were ever proved in a COURT of LAW, and at the time caused great agitation to Mrs Bee Eater and the hatchlings, young Apiasters minor and minimus.
We?ve had a MEETING about it (I was chairman) and we?ve agreed you must withdraw OR pay up your membership, what is in arrears.

Regards.

Or maybe, I’ve had too many beers.

Cheers.