Noel! Seriously. No L
I’ve been MIA lately for a number of reasons, chief of which was a sticky L key.
Wocky, my mid-Clinton-era laptop is getting on a bit and starting to show his age. I pretended not to notice when he started to misfile things and turned a blind eye when he started to nod off mid-task. Inconvenient though it was, I accomodated his new preference for a larger font-size and even put him to bed each night with a commode nearby, just in case he had to get up suddenly in the night to “empty the trash”.
Just this last wee while though, things have deteriorated to the point at which I have to admit that my sweet Wocky’s time may soon be up. It has been heartbreaking to watch as my trusty old friend has grown tired of life. The glint in his pixels isn’t what it was and, at one point, his L dropped right off. That was embarrassing, to say the least, especially as we were caught short whilst writing to the Llama-Llovers Lleague of Llanndyddnow. Skipping Ls is regarded as quite a faux pas with the LLLL llot.
Poor old Wocky’s giving up the ghost-in-the-machine and increasingly, I’ve been finding him alone in corners, as if he knows somehow what’s coming. When the time comes to say goodbye to him, I will weep, yes weep. For I love this clunky old machine, dammit, as a child loves a long-outgrown pony. But the bitter lessons of “Puff the Magic Dragon” were not lost on me and I will not just turn my back on him when something newer and shinier comes along. I won’t even it if does have a Pentium II chip, a tough yet slimline build, and an, ahem, ergonomic keyboard. I will use him only for the gentlest posts and emails, and then, one day, when Wocky’s sleeping and the time has come, I’ll just remove all his files, gently, softly, so as not to wake him, and let him sleep away… It’s how we all want to go, isn’t it? Perhaps we’ll say a few words as we send him for recycling. I think he’d like that. And then, if he’s been a good laptop, he can frolic forever in the binary land of Honalee, young and full of promise again, only for all eternity this time, pausing from glee only to take care not to get splashed in the charming rainbow lakes as he frolics.
The alternative, Computer Hell, doesn’t bear thinking about but I’ve heard that they depixellate there with red-hot tweezers and, apparantly, a thousand giant toddlers stalk the grim corridors of screaming computers pouring sticky beverages and sand between their keys.
(If you’re worried about Wocky’s hearing all this as I type it out on him, rest assured, he’s deaf as a post these days (itunes wrecked his ears) and he was never much of a reader. Besides, I’ve hidden his specs.
Having no L is not the whole story though. Life has been busy lately and problemchildbrideling has had to take a back seat. Tomorrow we’re off to Minnesota to see Gramma Enna but should be back on Monday and then, with luck, things will calm down a bit.
I’m looking forward to catching up with everyone!
November 10th, 2006 at 10:32 am
Must be something in the water, Katie (my trusty, beloved and much used-and-abused laptop) has also keeled over. Unfortunately, it’s a “Time” machine (and Time/Tiny have gone bust on more than one occassion, it seems), so all warranties/support etc has gone clean out of the window…
Have fun in Minnesota, see you monday
November 10th, 2006 at 10:40 am
Don’t let Wocky go to computer hell! Unless it’s run by Futurama’s robot devil, in which case, go for it. He’s fun.
November 10th, 2006 at 12:09 pm
Hoorah you’re back!
I’m glad it was only the L ……and although Wocky is over the hill, at least he can rest easy knowing what fun and high jinks he has brought to the interweby blogosphere!
November 10th, 2006 at 2:02 pm
Glad you’re back. Have fun in Minnesota.
Cheers.
November 10th, 2006 at 2:28 pm
You have a way with the worms Roxanne…which, of course, is why your absence was so cruel.
November 10th, 2006 at 6:02 pm
Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. I’ve also been arguing with the immigration officers of Blogland. They finally gave me Leave to Remain, although my punishment is, I have to live in Belgium.
November 10th, 2006 at 8:33 pm
Have a nice time in Minnesota, hope all is well. Speak soon. All grand here.
xx
PS Will of course say a little cyber-prayer for dear ol’ Wocky when the time comes.
November 11th, 2006 at 9:55 am
Safe trip and all that. Minnysoatie. Never been there.
I drove off with an olivetti typewriter on the roof of the car once. Needless to say it skited off at the first bend causing much alarums and merriment. Some letters were lost and the spacebar was shoogly for months.
November 11th, 2006 at 6:02 pm
Welcome home darling, poor old computer, it’s sad when they draw near the end, I wept for my first iPod in a most unbecoming manner.
November 12th, 2006 at 4:22 pm
I had a laptop that had to go to computer heaven not too long ago. By the end, he couldn’t even hold his screen up straight. It would wobble back and forth alarming as I typed.
I don’t cry for him. He’s better off now.
November 13th, 2006 at 8:39 am
Whew! Thought the Hallowe’en zombies might have gotten you. Glad you’re (semi) returned.
November 13th, 2006 at 6:27 pm
It’s good to hear from you, Sam. I thought you must be at the wrong pole of the bi-polar thing, but I suppose everyone in America takes the medication.
November 13th, 2006 at 7:12 pm
Ahh what a touching tale of devotion. Just make sure old Wocky doesn’t let some cunning type assume your caring identity and persona.
I think dropping your l’s could catch on.
“I ‘ove you, o I rea”y,rea”y do!” It could be the new Cockney. BTW Puff the Magic Dragon still makes me cry, it would be one of my Desert Island Discs for sure.
November 13th, 2006 at 11:38 pm
So glad you’re back honey – and now you’re gone again! My typing takes forever now because the letters have worn off and I can’t remember what’s where. I’m going to look up where Minnesota is – I’m guessing in the middle. My No 1 son is in Florida presently, which I know is on the right hand side near the bottom. Safe journey and come back!
November 14th, 2006 at 8:58 pm
Welcome back! I hope the trip to Minn. goes well! And sorry about the “noel”!!
November 15th, 2006 at 12:21 am
So there you are, llllllllllllllllllLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLl
I wanted to make you feel comfortable, so I held my “L” down for awhile. It made a mess, and now I feel vulnerable. But you should be more at ease.
I’m glad you have posted once more, but think Wokky sounds alot like my wife’s old laptop. We reloaded it and locked it down and now Samantha uses it to browse Sesame Street and Nickelodeon websites..
November 16th, 2006 at 6:01 pm
I had the same problem with my J. In some respects it really is a small world isn’t it.
November 16th, 2006 at 8:39 pm
No L? No! ‘Ell!
November 17th, 2006 at 8:13 pm
Wha….? I check in every day for weeks and there’s nothing, so I stop. Now I look in and there’s a week-old post, and everybody knew you were back but me, and …and now you’re off again?
Goddammit!
Glad you’re back though. Sorry to hear about Wocky. My last computer sounded like an asthmatic pervert with smoker’s cough by the end. Poor thing.
November 18th, 2006 at 2:11 pm
That’s one ‘L’ of a story.
*cough*
Sorry – I’m surprised no one else beat me to it
November 19th, 2006 at 11:01 pm
LO LO
My L’s work pity about the rest of me.
Where are you then?
You realise if you don’t reappear soon I will have to go down the pub and drown my sorrows, cry in my beer and chat up the barmaid. You wouldn’t want me to degenerate into drunken debauchery now would you?
Mind you it does have a certain appeal……..
November 22nd, 2006 at 12:08 pm
My Dad’s keyboard has a sticky A, it gives it a Dorset aaaaccent.
November 30th, 2006 at 3:48 am
If George Perec could write an entire novel without using the letter E, Wocky will be fine. Or fin.