Run, Don’t Walk!
A group of UK bloggers have produced a book in one week from concept to publishing in a stunt for Comic Relief called A Shaggy Blog Story. The profits after manufacturing costs all go to Comic Relief and the book is on sale here. It is guaranteed to have some great stuff in it and it’s for a good cause so go buy it and relieve yourselves comically.
Then, pull up a chair and have yourself a Friday question, why don’t you. Here’s one: if you had to choose just one musician to listen to for the rest of your life, who would it be?
I’ve recently discovered my blog pals Bock, Kieran and Anna are all Leonard Cohen fans too. This made me feel oddly jealous: Wha’? What do you mean Leonard Cohen? He’s mine! He’s singing all that stuff to me, to me, (to me) ((to me)) (((to me))) *Echoes off around inside my cavernous head (head) ((head)) (((head)))*
I discovered him at around 11, in a cupboard, among my mother’s and uncle’s records. I asked him what he was doing in there at that time of night but he just smiled a mysterious smile and left the room heading for the ferry. I was hooked.
Nobody I knew liked him in school, if they’d even heard of him. When I tried to convert people they uttered hard words like “bleak” and “depressing” and “worra gloomy bastard.” This got me down but then I realised he was mine, all mine! Bwahahahaha! I got up from being down, turned that frown right upside down and then vomited at my own revolting cheerfulness.
But, for all these years since, I’ve kept Lenny close to my heart and, more crucially, my ears, like a silver secret. Until now, I discover other people (Phthoo to the other people! Phthoo!) know about him too. On some level, of course, I knew that other people, phthoo, would know and maybe even like him. But not to the extent that I do! My secret is smashed, rent asunder, torn from my breast! O waily, waily, he really is singing for The Other People too!
It was quite a shock, I’ll tell you. I took to my bed for a week, a day, a good twenty minutes and tried to deal with the blow. Little by little, and with the help of Oprah and some top-drawer gin, I’ve clawed my way into acceptance of this and as part of my recovery I am throwing open the floodgates of my bruised and scabby soul, and asking you whatever it was I asked up there.
?
Oh yes: Are there any other Leonard Cohen fans out there? And which one musician could you not live without for the rest of your life? You only get one, mind. Times are hard in the future; there’s been an apocalyptic disaster that fell short of being the actual Apocalypse but is still bad enough that the powers-that-be have allowed us each only one chicken and the complete recordings of out favourite artist/band to go out into the wilderness with.
Who do you take?
March 16th, 2007 at 7:33 am
My condolences on the red nose book thing. Bastards didn’t take mine, nor Doc Maroon’s either. Still, at least Foot Eater got in.
I’m going to work on a Blunt Cogs Red Nose thing instead.
March 16th, 2007 at 7:39 am
Duly condoled. I’m not bitter *spit spit spit!* I chose badly for the submission, regretting almost immediately what I’d sent. But I took rum babas and hard liquor to the party and got drunk under the table with Rob. And the canapes were fabulous.
March 16th, 2007 at 9:57 am
My one didn’t get in either, if that’s any consolation, although I wasn’t too disappointed. The bloke running the thing seemed to be one of those types who might have issues with a literate gorilla. He was probably afraid that people might mistake me for a human. If I had to listen to just one musician, I’d want him to be a variety act who could dance and tell jokes as well. Chico Marx…or maybe Max Bygraves.
March 16th, 2007 at 11:55 am
Ohhhh I was sure you would get in.
I did try to buy a copy….. but have forgotton my paypal password…… blurry thing.
I think I’d probably take Tom Waits…..cos he’d keep me amused with his gravelly voice and nonsense words.
March 16th, 2007 at 1:15 pm
Mr Gorilla Bananas, I don’t believe it! I wondered if you’d submitted something or not. I think you were ruled out because you’re African. They were a bit funny about that. I don’t know why. I’m not surprised about Kim, I begged him to shave off the beard. ‘It upsets people’ I told him, did he listen?
Sam can’t believe you never got in it, scumbag bastards, well they can fucking sing for their money now.
Red nose? I’ll give him a red nose.
March 16th, 2007 at 3:25 pm
Sticky question.
Nancy Griffith, I think.
As for “Red Nose,” the omissions are shameful.
Cheers.
March 16th, 2007 at 5:44 pm
The bastards didn’t accept you? Utter travesty.
Though, I am guilty of now not feeling quite so bad at having missed the deadline on account of having a crap life, a crap car, crap teeth and a website that unceremoniously died amidst my selection process. After all, if they turned their noses up at Classic tales of ProblemChildBridery, there’s no way they’d have even glanced at my meagre offerings.
As to your question: Prince Rogers Nelson.
With his career spanning 30 years and over 40 albums, not to mention his penchant for playing almost every genre of modern music known to the developed world, there’s definitely enough to keep me occupied from now till I meet my Maker.
Like you didn’t see that coming…
March 16th, 2007 at 5:58 pm
Bob Dylan.
March 16th, 2007 at 6:00 pm
A cliche I guess, but it would have to be The Beatles. Or maybe Led Zepplin, or AC DC, or Bob Dylan or The Smiths, Richard Thompson, THe Stone Roses, who could do without The Pixies… Fuckit – I CAN”T DO IT SAM, PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME PICK ONE!
In my apocalyptic future I’ll be able to listen to many artists
March 16th, 2007 at 6:01 pm
Speaking of the future – The Future is my favorite Lenny album. Wore it out I did.
March 16th, 2007 at 6:28 pm
Nanas, come and we’ll have a consoling e-hug. Maroon didn’t want one. I’ll seize on any chance to cuddle a silverback though, you know me.
Birchsprite, I like Tom Waits and his whiskey-soaked bar voice. I like him, but for the rest of my life it’s Lenny for me or maybe Bob Dylan depending on what week you ask me.
March 16th, 2007 at 6:57 pm
Now that’s a very spooky coincidence. I needed a CD to listen to on my drive to work this morning – and I chose Leonard Cohen’s greatest hits! I don’t think of his as gloomy so much as…defiant. I also like Nick Cave and Tom Waits for a similar reason – I call it ‘life-is-ugly-and-we’re-all-gonna-die-so-what-are-you-drinking’ music.
March 16th, 2007 at 6:58 pm
Oh, forgot to answer who is my ‘one artist’ for my post-apocalyptic listening pleasure.
Hmmmmm…don’t laugh: Lloyd Cole
I knew you’d laugh. Youz can all faahk off.
March 16th, 2007 at 7:05 pm
Maroon, sweets, it’s all good. Better luck next time, eh. But I do think it’s delightfully gallant of you to want to give someone a nose-punch for me. I wouldn’t think it gallant if you actually did it, mind, but that’s we women for you – contradictions in petticoats and bomber boots.
Rand, Nancy Griffith? She’s cool but I couldn’t take her for ever and ever. Actually I can only think of one or two songs of her’s although I’m sure if you told me others I’d say Oh was that Nancy Griffith too? So I guess I don’t have a scooby what she’s really like.
Claire, ah you’re a doll, but wha? eh? pardon? Prince? I’d a’never thunk it. Is Prince Rogers Nelson really his real name? I did not know that. But how’s this for a segue back to Len – true too: I went to my only Leonard Cohen concert in Prince’s nightclub in Minneapolis, “First Avenue.” It’s a great venue and all Minnesotans love him because he stayed put and didn’t move to one of the coasts. And Bob Dylan’s from Minnesota too.
Foots, I had an idea you’d say Dylan. Some weeks I think he’d be more satisfying for a lifetime’s listening with all the ups and downs and stuff – bit more variety in mood etc. but, in the wilderness with only a chicken, I think Lenny’s my man.
John, you must, you must pick only one. You’ll only have enough time to choose, come the Near Apocalypse and you’d better make sure the chicken will like it too. There’s nothing worse than being stuck in a desolate landscape with a sulky chicken. That would rule ACDC out for a start. The Future’s great, isn’t it. I’ve rearranged songs so many times on tapes and things I just can’t pick an album any more. But Songs From A Room will always be extra special, I think. The first cut is the deepest after all.
March 16th, 2007 at 7:07 pm
Andraste, there’s nothing wrong with Lloyd Cole. In fact he does a pretty good cover of Cohen’s Chelsea Hotel on the “I’m Your Fan” tribute album, so he has excellent musical taste and pedigree in my book.
March 16th, 2007 at 7:09 pm
I think Lenny got tarred with the gloomy brush early on in his career and has been mislabelled ever since.
March 16th, 2007 at 7:11 pm
He’s good looking too.
March 17th, 2007 at 12:31 am
I’ve never heard Leonard Cohen, so I can’t comment on him. I believe he’s quite good.
And my band is totally out of place in this list. I’d say Evanescence, because of their deep, thought-provoking music, but clearly it’s out of place here.
(Resorts to lying)
Em … Bruce Springsteen, yeah …
March 17th, 2007 at 1:00 am
Condolences to all – my blog’s too miserable so I didn’t send anything. I hope it sells as it is for a good cause. I think there’s a blogarchy in operation though. Someone should set up a fringe blogarchy lol!
I’d take Madelaine Peyroux as well as Leonard and eggs rather than a chicken as I make a fab tortilla.
March 17th, 2007 at 1:39 am
Her album “One Fair Summer Evening” is my “go to” road trip album. “They ain’t nothin’ like drivin’ through West Texas lisenin’ to Nancy sing.”
Cheers.
March 17th, 2007 at 2:41 am
If not Dylan, then I’d go for Andraste’s choice, Lloyd Cole. I’ve seen him perform three times now and he just gets better and better. His cover of Nick Cave’s People Ain’t No Goodis beautiful and gut-wrenching in equal measure.
March 17th, 2007 at 5:40 am
Andraste, and how…
Dario, rush out and buy yourself Various Positions right now! No I don’t mean a prostitute, I mean the album. By Leonard Cohen. You won’t be sorry. Or buy The Future. Or his Best Of. Student budget not withstanding, this might be one of the most significant purchases of your life.
Apprentice, I don’t know much about Madeleine Peyroux, I’ll have to check her out. And you make a mean tortilla, you say? I’ll be right over. Red’s allright…?
Rand’, a good road-trip album is essential and there ain’t no road-trip like a Western American road-trip. Yeehah! Beautiful. Rock and roll was made for those landscapes.
Foots, I like Nick Cave but his version of Cohen’s Tower of Song is my least favourite song on the “I’m Your Fan” album. I don’t know much about Lloyd Cole either but, as personal recommendations are really the best way to go with music, I’ll be looking at him again along with Apprentice’s Peyroux.
March 17th, 2007 at 2:59 pm
Yea Uncle Lenny ! & Bob Dylan also
March 17th, 2007 at 5:20 pm
Hi Tony, thanks for stopping by! I went over to yours and was blown away by this wave of fingers at the piano picture. You’ve got some great images there!
March 18th, 2007 at 5:26 am
Shane MacGowan from the Pogues. Great drinking buddy and if worst comes to worst you could probably eat him. Bet he’s taste like jerky.
March 18th, 2007 at 12:05 pm
Sam, not only would I never rebuff a hug from your rather fit form, but if you check, I offered to share my 1 1/2 gallon (US) tub of Ben and Gerry’s with you.
Thinking about it, a hug would be asking for trouble.
We both know this.
There’d be the hug, then maybe the most innocent of consoling kisses, very chaste, then the eye contact, before you know it, full-on snogging, cardigans removed, it?s hot in here innit? clothes scattered to the four winds before our unleashed passions tied us in unspeakable knots of glistening human flesh. And bare skin.
But, it can never be: you have a wonderful family and most enviable Californian lifestyle, while I have my dreams of running off with Fatmammycat to some hot place where my money would go further and lying naked [for the tan] forever with her, on jewelled beaches, while handsome young lads run up coconut trees to bring us trendy mixers for our rum punches?
and there?s Mrs Maroon to consider, she wouldn?t like it.
March 18th, 2007 at 1:51 pm
OK. If the Leonard Cohen thing pissed you off, I suppose I’d better say nothing about Guy Clark.
March 18th, 2007 at 2:45 pm
I have only two words for you. Dolly and Parton.
March 18th, 2007 at 3:55 pm
Sam that is just too hard and it’s impossible. But I can’t let you down so will choose one of so many evoking artists of when the boys were growing up and desirous of my sharing their music enthusiasms. You can tell I’ve been at the champers can’t you. It’s Mum’s day here. So Eric Clapton. One son had just given me four his CDs. At least he can sing and play and how!
March 18th, 2007 at 4:44 pm
Fatman, I’d have said that, after all these years, Shane McGowan tastes more of a tough piece of marinated mutton.
Maroon, have you been drinking? You’re sounding even more peculiar than usual, is all. Wouldn’t a jewelled beach be a bit uncomfortable to lie on?
Bock, you better hadn’t.
Fluffag, I loves me a bit of Dolly but for ever and ever, amen? Nope – she’s excellent road-trip and getting ready to go out music, but at about month 4 of nothing but, I’d hire Jolene to go and kick her in the bum. Happy Mother’s day, sweetie-pie.
Pat, Happy Mother’s Day to you too! We don’t get ours ’til May when it is swamped by all the birthdays, so we reach celebration fatigue and just do a few cursory cards and kisses. Eric Clapton is a fine choice. And he has a large oeuvre too (if the pictures are anything to go by.
)
March 18th, 2007 at 5:48 pm
Thanks! Hey Guy Clarke IS good Too!
March 18th, 2007 at 11:58 pm
My Red Nose post wasn’t picked either. Ah well.
I was a Leonard Cohen fan when I was at school; indeed I saw him at Manchester’s Belle Vue arena (now I imagine long gone) just after Songs From A Room came out. I have to say I took my eye off him after that, but the first two albums are still part of my life.
One artist to preserve: Richard Thompson.
March 19th, 2007 at 4:49 am
First I was Lenny all the way… But with every comment I read I changed my mind, then I went back to The Cure and then I changed my mind then it was Dolly DOLLY! I LOVE YOU DOLLY!!!! all the way then I change my mind then my head exploded, too many decisions.
March 19th, 2007 at 8:39 pm
Paul Buchanan. You Jocks know who he is. I have listened to Tinseltown in the Rain about 490,000 times in the past fortnight and could still hear it again. I used to rehearse teenage angst to Lenny, The Partisan was my favourite from his old songs, but his later stuff is much better. “First we’ll take Manhattan” is a seminal meisterwerk and “Dance me to the end of love” makes me swoon. And Andraste is right, he is sexy.
But not as sexy as Paul Buchanan.
March 19th, 2007 at 11:23 pm
I’d have to do more research on Guy Clarke to see if he was truly lifetime music for me. I will though. I love being turned on to new singers.
Rob, Richard Thompson is another I’ll have to gum-shoe out. Take another look at Leonard Cohen though. This last decade he has produced some amazing stuff; truly a man for all seasons.
Carolyn, me too. I can’t help but love Dolly Parton. So do the kids!
Lady Daphne, Dance Me To the End Of Love is delicious and might actually be my favourite if I was strapped over burning coals and made to choose. I liked The Partisan too; the mood of that whole album opened up countless new worlds to me. First We’ll Take Manhatten is a great bitter snarl of a song practically spat out at times. Apparantly it’s to do with couple of bad receptions and some bad press he got in both New York and Berlin. I was a bit dissatisfied when I heard that explanation of it though, as I have a whole other darker and more epic story made up about it.
March 22nd, 2007 at 11:02 pm
Richard Thompson is the greatest guitarist alive today for my money, of course he may also be the greatest songwriter too. Greatest singer – not so much, but like Meatloaf was wont to say, “two out of three ain’t bad”
March 24th, 2007 at 11:24 am
“just the way it changes / like the shoreline and the sea”
yes, Lenny is Da Goods.
But I’d have to go with Paul Simon as a far more thoughtful songwriter in his later years.
Or wait, do bands count? Pink Floyd?
And Billy Joel has this great cover of “Light as the breeze”. Billy J’s voice, now do I like his better or Cohen’s?
Decisions, decisions.
J.A.P.