[...]problemchildbride.com Blog » Blog Archive » Goiter Fear[...]…

The goiter was removed along with half of my thyroid. I was told by the surgeon that there is/was a spot on the other side of my thyroid that needed watching, and regular testing was intimated. I put that fear out of my mind – though it lurks and waits to be provoked – which it was by your post, which I thoroughly enjoyed despite the heebie jeebies, or maybe because of them.

Break a leg!

Carolyn, that is a worry! There must be a way to tell if you’ve just sneezed out brain or snot though: try cooking them each up with fava beans and a nice chianti and whichever tastes the best will be yer brains.

Brianf, yikes-a-mercy! There is a tiny glint of Olivier’s Nazi dentist in Marathon Man in every dentist’s eyes. Fear of the dentist must surely be the yardstick against which all other fears are measured.

Vince, I think I know him. For real! I’ll check it out in the morning and see if I’m right.

Nanas, I tried a salve of pottage, nettles and dolphin blowholes – it seemed to do the trick and nipped the goiter in the bud at the purely terrified fantasy stage. An old sea-dog’s trick I picked up in Mandalay.

Kara, I delivered hot millet to baby birds who were too ill to cook for themselves.

Conan, you’re quite right, of course. A rubber gaiter would be a wellie and they have to be green in colour if one has any sort of a clue about current wellie-fashions. The latest styles are trending swollen too, for added cushioning and support.

Sassy, you can manage grays though – look at Andie McDowell, she’s a hungred and three! I fear baldness. I never used to until my mother told me as a child that, when a child herself, she had been morbidly afraid of balding. I think she felt lighter as she told me and the burden of baldophobia passed down to me.

Caro, that’s just how my granny drove. Didn’t bother her a bit. It was really more of a problem for other road-users and pedestrians.

fmc – problem Child I is like that. One of the nurses in the neonatal ICU when the girls were born – who became a good friend – still used compartmentalised dishes at 29 whenever she could.

Pat, I worry about marble loss too but what bothers me is that I never knew how many I had to start with. How can I tell I’m losing them?

JenPen, I locked the girls and me out once, when they were two. I had to smash a window and crawl through to get back in. The Problem Husband was just delighted! I could tell by his wide eyes and gaping mouth.

Hi liz, welcome! Thanks for commenting. I feel compassion for your fear but cannot really fully understand it. At all! I LOVE children’s sweeties. Are you some kind of a wierdo, woman? I ask that in a non-judgmental way.

Gr8 K8, hello to you – thanks for stopping by and leaving a message – I loves it when people do. Vomit is one of these onomatopoeic words where if you didn’t know what it meant, you’d twig to it pretty quickly by how it sounds. A word that almost bests goiter for ickiness.

Kim, there’s always collagen – you could get a pirate trout pout.

Wordnerd, hiya. Welcome. With a name like wordnerd I am going to have to visit your site, that much is clear.

Mom101 – a man with a tiny we extra head who can still remain fanciable is a rare breed. Some men have just one big great one. Just messing wid ju, guys – I’m a guy-fan not a guy-foe.

Eolai – I’d have though zippers place men in more peril than buttons. I used to dream about the girls choking on mouthfuls of buttons and pennies when they were toddlers. We don’t even have that amount of buttons in our house – but in my dream our cup and their wee mouths did run horribly over with buttons…

Cheeroo.

The clothing type that is, not ones on machines. If a woman ever wants to end a relationship with me all she has to do is start wearing things with buttons. Of course she’d have to actually start that relationship before she could think about ending it.

I don’t even want to talk about them any more.

(And I too still see Richard Grant with two heads. That image is disturbingly embedded in my brain.)