And bless you, you’ve brought in hairy forearms again. Or were they sturdy ones? Forearms, in any case — a highly under-rated body part. Parts, that is.

Carolyn, don’t talk to me about the begonia worshippers – they behead all non-begonia flowers in the name of begonia supremacism. Madder than a sporran full of weasels they are.

Old Knudsen, convenience is terribly important. If you’re a human you must live near a shop. If you’re a squirrel you must live near a squirrel shop Hippos have the same worries we do. There’s no point a hippo living in Paris. How would she ever find a swimsuit to fit? Location location location.

fmc, in Lewis, if you need a drop of something and can’t get into town for whatever reason, you can call a taxi, have it stop at an offy and drive your bottle out for you. It’s not cheap but when the thirst is great there’s always a way.

Daphne, by gum you’ve got it! I did think the SNP was a little too thinly disguised as an insane glen. Tormod, though having strong libertarian tendencies and eschewing the welfare state in favour of a society where everyone wears Argyle loincloths and a handsome grin, isn’t a Conservative at heart. His heart’s too big. He could fit several Conservative candidates in it at once. If anything, he’s an Islamo-Communist. (a party still in its incipient stages of 1 member.)

It was Dr Finlay’s Casebook, by the way, set in the wee highland village of Tannochbrae, and apocryphal exchanges between him and his spinsterish housekeeper Janet abounded, always told in an exaggerated Highland accent, such as:
“Doctor, Doctor! There’s a case of syphilis in the waiting room!”
“Put it in the back, Janet, I’ll drink it later.”
or
“Doctor, Doctor! I’ve got terrible heartburn!”
“Well get yer tits oot ma porridge, Janet!”