Comments on: They Grow Up So Quickly

By: problemchildbride

problemchildbride — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 09:36:22 +0000

Pat, within the next ten years I’m going to become an unbearable disappointment to my children as they hit their teens. I intend to wear their disappointment lightly though and drive them to school in my nightie and slippers, gaily casting pamphlets on alpaca-farming out of the window and screeching “The nettles! Who will boil the nettles?” in full view of their friends.

fmc, bike-training was sporadic as it turned out. They were much more into learning to roller-skate this week.

LaughyKate, have you seen the Bratz doll merchandise? There’s already a whole line is risque, sexualised clothing for little girls out there. It’s unbelievable.

Kim, It’s my fond hope that they know how to fiddle their taxes by age 8. Bless!

Medbh, it was a lovely week. I found myself with boundless energy for some reason which was a bit of good luck. We biked, we roller-skated, we jumped rope for years at a time, we went on long walks, we went on shorter walks, we made lurid pink cupcakes, we planted sunflowers, we did holiday feed-the-chicks duty at kindergarten and, among other things, we read The BFG twice. And I exercised like a demonade-slurping demon, chalking up miles on the road, the treadmill and the elliptical. It was all fab. Tonight I can’t be arsed moving my carcass down to the washing-machine to press ON.

Jali, these games sound like they went the same way as my Lets Play Cinderella! game. “You be twin Cinders,” I coaxed them, “Just wash the floors and make mummy a lovely gin fizz, eh? There’s my good girls.” It didn’t fly.

Savannah, it’s coming all too soon, darlin’. I figure if I don’t tell them about Mexico existing, they won’t find out about Cancun.

Mary, my spam filter caught you for some reason! Sorry, ’bout that. Thanks for letting me know though – it happens every now and again for no reason I can discern.

Sniffly, this June they return to the Homeland to spread their wild American ways among the good children of Lewis. Still they could never hope to surpass the rap-sheets on some of the five-year-olds from Harris.

Mom101, it’s not really cool, I’m afraid. Noone can best a good Cliff Richard joke. Not for the Perrier award at the edinburgh festival . Sir Cliff set the bar way too high in his unintentional natural comedicness.

Honey, I worried like hell one time Prob Child 2 and I were in the emergency room after she’d banged her head sometime. She ate the lipstick from the tube she found in my bag when I looked away to talk to the nurse for a second. When I turned around she looked like a slavering bone-cruncher child in “Desert Rose” colours.

By: Mary Witzl

Mary Witzl — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 00:12:27 +0000

By: Honey

Honey — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 20:02:08 +0000

ha! I have a four and a three year old, always good to know whats coming round the corner.
My daughter’s addiction to makeup is OBVIOUSLY leading somewhere bad.
have an adventure soaked holiday!

By: Mom101

Mom101 — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 01:49:33 +0000

Okay, there are some days that you just totally lose me. It’s like watching the Young Ones in junior high and laughing because it seemed cool even though I didn’t get the Cliff Richards jokes.

But I am getting that your kids are on drugs. So I guess it’s good you’re home with them this week.

(miss you!)

By: Mary Witzl

Mary Witzl — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 21:45:28 +0000

My kids could use more of a work ethic too. I’ve tried giving them some of mine, but they’re not having it. And they are awful at stealth! Why can’t they understand that you’re supposed to hide the candy wrappers and questionable reading material where your mother can’t see? What’s so hard about that? Things were different when I was a kid. I knew how to pilfer properly, and no one had to tell ME that candy wrappers were a dead give away.

How weird that your kids are learning Valley speak! It must make you feel as strange as I do when I hear my kids using words like ’skive’ and ‘blather.’

By: Sniffle&Cry

Sniffle&Cry — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:59:19 +0000

There?s a programme on BBC2 currently, couple of intellectual types taking a trip round the shores up north and last night they?d reached the Hebrides and bounced around the Islands. Showed a fella picking cockles on a beach and a British Airways plane landing behind him, on the same beach. His granddad was the best cockle picker though; none could keep up with him. And they spoke about Stornoway and other places and things which you talk about here. It?s a beautiful place Sam. Have your cocaine addicted, biker chick daughters spread chaos and havoc there yet? I think I?ll organise an expedition myself, once the boys get out jail and Darla has her baby.

By: Mary Witzl

Mary Witzl — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:03:14 +0000

My kids don’t do stealth well either. It’s so infuriating. I can’t get over how they never bury their pilfered candy wrappers and leave their illicit reading materials right where I can find them. When I was a kid, at least I knew how to hide stuff.

And how weird to think that your kids are picking up Valley talk! One of mine responded that she ‘dinny ken’ the other day. My very own flesh and blood.

I own no crystals, and I only started yoga after the age of 30 and still can’t find my chakra. Can’t surf either, and I’ve given up on getting tans. I’m not sure if they’d even let me back into California.

By: savannah

savannah — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 20:46:28 +0000

spring break…2 of the most dreadrd words when kids are in college..enjoy yourself NOW, sugar!

By: jali

jali — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 19:21:50 +0000

I use to try to play games with my girls when they were little and on holiday breaks. “Let’s play clean out the basement, it’ll be fun!” was met with stoney eyed stares of disgust so I just let them be. (I learned to ignore their whispered mocking of my cheerful tone)

They’re pretty cool with me these days.

By: Medbh

Medbh — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 18:13:09 +0000

Have fun with Tots Gone Wild week, Sam.
I’m sure your girls are brilliant.