And I never knew that arugula and rocket were the same thing! Personally, I think Americans have got the cooler term here — ‘arugula’ sounds more foreign than ‘rocket’ — like zucchini. ‘Aubergine’ beats ‘eggplant’ hand over fist, though, so you’re okay there.

And no thanks to Mr Bananas for putting the Dukes of Hazard in my head. I’d managed to forget that one until a few minutes ago…

Daffers darling, the buck bunnies in Iran would be so inflamed by the mere suggestion of a doe’s naked whisker that they couldn’t be held responsible for their actions. Square-Jawed George would be saved, but poor, wicked and lustful Genevieve would probably be stoned to death within an hour of shedding her hijab.

fmc, if it helps, it wasn’t very good poetry.

Caro, that’s one of the 843 ways the owl tried to justify it to himself.

Lucy, in the posh old days the Brits used to eat devilled kidneys at breakfast sometimes. I always thought there was something terribly wrong with that. I guess it was an Empire thing. You never hear of it nowadays.

Conan, ha! They accounted for the deaths by saying it was a hop-and-run. Nobody saw nuffink. But life was never the same for those who were there that day. It changed them.

English Mum, ta! It’s not as good as a Jaffa Cake with a cup of tea – doesn’t have the smashing orangey bit. I suspect if you’d had Jaffa Cakes in you’d never have settled for this bilge.

Pat, they call rocket arugula here. And they call tomatoes tomaytoes, the great sillies. Owl’s shame though was for how delicious he found the hearts – and how he can’t help craving more…

Sugar Britches, I’ve always liked that bit in Alice In Wonderland when she’s enormous and cries so much her tears make a river she floats off down herself when she shrinks. I don’t know why but I’ve always thought that was pretty cool.

Medbh, and once they get a taste for blood…

Nanas, or Murkin!

Jo, Toto doesn’t live there anymore…

Rand, you will never be banned, hun. Did you really do that to your wart? I certainly hope you didn’t do it to someone else’s wart!

Vince, Belleek has your answer. And you’re right. An old couple walking along holding hands is beautiful. ‘Course, you know she’s probably his secretary, right? And his real wife is home worrying about his heart medication or something.

Belleek, bunnies are comic geniuses. I watch them eating our lawn every morning and evening – funniest is when they nibbled a flower shorter and shorter up the stalk ’til they look like they’ve got a flower on their nose, just for an instant before it falls to the ground. I feel I ought to be paying them money for the entertainment.

Maroon, I think of all the people who’ve said i’m awful, I like it when you say it the most. Only I’m not awful. I’m heinous.