And boy, am I with you on the news thing — you just hope and pray as many people think it’s stupid as you do, then you wonder if they DO think so, why haven’t they protested more? Do they think that’s as good as it can get?

I loathe salmon pink. I had to wear it recently to help a friend cater for a wedding, and what a dick I felt.

Kudos on such an excellent meme! Turns out my socks are salmon pink so I’m backing away slowly.

Nanas, her name was Old Mother Reid and she was the sternest looking woman ever to sell sweeties to children.

Bock, How so? Be over in a minute.

Docs, I was really surprised but they do have a smoking area on most rigs, says Wee Bro. They have to be outfitted with special materials at great cost apparently but there is no shortage of money among these oil companies. Bro was talking to a handle-bar-moustachioed ten-gallon hatted fella who is flown to Aberdeen from Texas by business class every two weeks. And they pay monopoly money. Swilling in money they are, I bet they sneeze into twenty quid notes when they have a cold.

Manuel, I bet they all have tummies. I know a lot of people from home who work on the rigs – it’s common in a place where men have traditionally always gone to sea anyway – and they all come back with tummies from the rich living out there. Wee Bro says he can feel his belt getting tight already. And disappointed? If I ever make it over to Belfast I will consider every meal eaten in a restaurant that isn’t your’s a massive let-down. Even thon Ginger one with the lovely menu.

Beans are not allowed on the rigs due to their flamable possibilities.

Festering fishooks to the meme but I’ll do it because I love talking about me. I like Bold btw, with the money I save on fabric conditioner, me and the missus have a top notch nosh up at a proper restaurant. Gammon steak or better.