Kara, a squint.

Jen, watch out for the Spotted Smirker! He’s 17, thinks he knows it all and is thoroughly contemptuous of anyone not him or his friends. He’s known to be thoroughly dull if approached.

Kim, I only wish I was joking.

Eryl, Smirky deserved a break. He deserved a Kit-Kat.

Twenty, no you don’t – you love an ending so twisted and unnaturally cruel and unusual that it taints everyone who reads it and leaves them hollow-eyed and drooling and just crazy enough to make plots to kill Damien Rice.

Docs, I know. I could yell the truth from the top of the Kelvingrove Museum and people would just think I was making it up.

Rand, toots, if I thought for a minute you were that sort of a Christian, I would never have visited you a second time, far less the squillion odd times I have in the past few years.

Pat, we humans do have a need for justice, don’t we? I wonder if animals do?

Quickroute, God, that man does have one of the most infuriating smirks in the world. It’s as if he thinks he’s got something to be proud of.

Mary, if I could have a super-power, I’d pick smiting.

Bock, I’d love to see a good ole fashioned Bushwacking. Keep it traditional.

Medbh, my life is impossibly racy, it’s true. It just spills over into the blog sometimes on the backs of the sausages.

Sniffle, howdo?

What!?! You mean, I’ve been misled all these years!?!

Bugger!!!

Cheers.