Mary, you are one of Nature’s survivors. Come the End Days bags I bunk with you. You heard me everybody! I’m bunking with Mary and her well thought-out store of provisions! The rest of you will have to find your own wise friend!

Savannah, I shall be over for a see!

Medbh, it’s the time of year for it. If only we could harness the power of twitching we might be able to power a major city through February and March at least.

Daphne, the God of Belgium is a beast. The Goddess of France can’t stand him and his cheesy breath, but what can she do about it? She can hardly move, can she.

Eryl, curling is one of mankind’s greatest pleasure. Draw your curtains, take the phone off the hook and try it. Also rocking and moaning intermittently when you have a sinus infection.

Ellis, John is TheIsleOf’s more successful younger brother. But we have never been bitter or angry or torn up any Christmas cards at all. Nope sirree.

Andraste, see me reply to Medbh, stick your fingers in a plug socket and start producin’ baby! America needs the twitchers to decreaase or dependence on foreign oil.

Vincent, although you cannot tell it really from this distance, I am in fact doing a rare stand-up-not-in-the-house twitch.

Conan, it is comments like these by which I have long apprehended your essential wisdom.

Savannah, ha! Bowling would be as recreational manna to us in the hebrides, baby. We pile stones up in little heaps for our recreation there. The tourists think it’s some ancient mysterious misty shit, but nah. Just us.

Sniffle, I love Dettol. It smells like antisceptic poetry.

Sweary, which predicament, darling? (Wry lolling)

Pat, I bet you keen like a queen, my graceful friend. I keen more like somebody about to throw up on the ferry.

I don’t know what *twitch* you’re all *twitch* talking about.

*twitch*

I’m fine. Really.