About Problem-Child-Bride. Email Address And Such

Not sure what to put here exactly. Feel I should put something though so, for the time being, I’ll put the answers to one of these question things people get via email, that I got from my friend Tracy.

1. What time did you get up this morning? 6.45am. Small and noisy children people my house and they people it in decibels.

2. Diamonds or pearls? Pearls but for political rather than aesthetic reasons.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Capote

4. What’s your favorite TV show? The Daily Show and Real Time with Bill Maher which is similar but longer, edgier and more substantive. The Office.

5. What did you have for breakfast this morning? Coffee, Kashi cereal, maple yogurt, toast.

6. What’s your favorite cuisine? French country and my mum’s queezeene.

7. What foods do you dislike? Marzipan, red meat, anything with too much oregano.

8. What is your favorite chip flavor? Walker’s Salt ‘n’ Vinegar from Britain

9. What’s your favorite CD at the moment? Leonard Cohen: “Songs from a Room”, as usual, and a Bob Dylan one my mate Michelle gave me for Christmas.

10. What kind of car do you drive? Toyota Prius

11. What is your favorite sandwich? Cheese

12. What is your favorite type of clothing? Hats, although I almost never wear one. I mourn the grand old be-hatted days.

14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Florence, St.
Petersburg, London (can’t get enough of London or New York), the Andes, the Himalayas, places too numerous to mention. I have an unsatisfied wanderlust. My windy wee island in the Outer Hebrides of Scotland.

15. What color is your bathroom? Hideous hallucogenic Vegas meets Maiden Auntie Mildred floral and spawns a bad, evil bathroom – have had little time to redecorate a thing in our house. Even though we’ve been here nigh on these last 4 years. But I’m busy raising children badly and, besides, I have little ambition. A problem of mine.

16. Favorite brand of clothing? Laundry by Shelli Segal, Arden B, Language Los Angeles

17. Where would you retire to? A well-wired seaside cottage anywhere in the British Isles. Or Ojai, maybe

18. Favorite time of the day? Any one of the silent watches of the night. I’m an owl with a lark lifestyle rudely imposed upon me.

19. What was your most memorable birthday? My 18th. Although, simultaneously, not.

20. Where were you born? Stornoway, Outer Hebrides, Scotland

21. Favorite sport to watch? Tennis

22 Were you named after anyone? After Sam, my grandpa

23. Do you wish on stars? Nope.

24. Do you like your handwriting? It’s far too small and betrays too much of my mood at the time of writing.

25. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? If I were one of my friends I would be friends with me. If not, it’s hard to tell.

26. Are you a daredevil? All mood-driven. Sometimes I can be, sometimes I am a “You’ll never get me to go up in that thing. Never!” scaredy-cat.

27. Do looks matter? Yes. But they’re very, very subjective. Good looks and attraction
don’t necessarily walk hand in hand. They matter more to men, I gather.

28. How do you release anger? I write it out to old and trusted friends. After the girls were born, I smashed a few melons.

29. Where is your second home? The internet.

30. What were your favorite toys as a child? Mud, my bike, my grandpa’s shoe-polish set and books. Playing at anything with my pal Michelle.

31. What class in high school was totally useless? Religious Education. A complete sham in which we were cornered once a week by a baying Free Presbyterian spinster who indelibly etched the word “wattles” into my brain and who would foam at the mouth when the spirit moved her.

32. What are your favorite movies? I have to say “Grease” is one of them but that doesn’t make me a bad person (defensively typed). “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid” is an all-time favourite. “Dirty, Filthy Love” (which, mum and dad, if you’re reading this, is not porn and only has one bare bum in it that I can recall). “Mary Poppins”, “Cyrano de Bergerac”, “Who’s Afraid Of Virginia Woolf?”, “Twelve Angry Men,” “Lars And The Real Girl”.

33. What are your living arrangements? I arranged with God to be here until he tells me I can’t be any more. He told me He moves in mysterious ways so it could be any day now. Or not. That’s the mysterious part, I guess. Anyway, keeps me on my toes.

34. What are your nicknames? Sam, Sami, Sambo to my friend Tombo, Smamfa to my brother and Samiantha to my mother. Sugar Plum, Choogles, Chooks and any number of barnyard animals to my father.

35. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Again, I’m a slave to my moods.

36. Do you think that you are strong? As a rock.

37. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Mint choc chip.

38. What are your favorite colors? Blue, dark and light.

39. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? My spots because they betray my inner blemishes.

40. Who do you miss the most? My Grandpa who is dead; my family and friends who are not dead but live oceans and continents away.

41. Do you want everyone you sent this to, to send it back? Yes, if I forward it to other people. I’m an optimist.

42. What color pants are you wearing? Cream colored cords.

43. What are you listening to right now? Tap tap tap on my keyboard.

44. Last thing you ate? Grapes

45. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? I’d be a pencil, blue and pointy, sometimes sharp, sometimes dull and blunted.

46. Last person you talked to on the phone? My brother.

47. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Their face and height. I guess that’s two things so i’ll cheat and say: How tall their face is.

48. Favorite drink? The one that puts the boat in the water which for me is usually the first one, almost never the last.

49. Do you wear contacts? No

50. Favorite day of the year? Christmas and the girls’ birthday.

51. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings. Can’t help my sappy self.

52. Summer or winter? Depends where I am. Also mood again.

53. Hugs or kisses? Can’t I have both?

54. What is your favorite dessert? Rrrrrrrrum baba with rum’n’raisin ice-cream or my Granny’s Eve’s pudding.

55. What book(s) are you reading? “The Known World by Edward P Jones and “Love, Poverty and War: Journeys and Essays” by Christopher Hitchens

56. What’s on your mouse pad? I lack a mouse pad as I’m a laptop lassie (Ooooh-er, missus!)

57. What did you watch last night on TV? Tivoed State of the Union

58. Favorite smells? My daughters’ heads. My grandpa’s wardrobe. Old books.

59. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Beatles.

60. What’s the furthest you’ve been away from home? Hospital.


Contact me via email if you like: samizahringer at gmail dot com

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Singed Feathers Everywhere*. Hebridean Mother Living In WierdyBeardysville, USA